Top 5 Forgetful Sports Stars, Yeehaw! News (Spoof Article)

TOP 5 FORGETFUL SPORTS STARS, YEEHAW NEWS (SPOOF ARTICLE)

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5. In 1993 Michael Jordan shocked the world by turning away from basketball and turning out for baseball’s the Chicago White Sox. He caused even more of a stir when, on returning to basketball 18 months later, he came fully kitted out in pitcher’s glove, cap, and bat. Despite the initial shock, Jordan put in an unorthodox performance and scored three home runs as the Chicago Bulls beat the Orlando Magic 74-21 in the NBA finals.

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4. Back in 2007, Javier Mascherano forget he’d signed a five year, twenty million pound deal with FC Barcelona and shocked colleagues by turning up to train at Anfield on the first day of pre-season.

“We didn’t want to break it to him”, said club legend Steven Gerrard, “his wife had just left him for John Terry at the time and I think his Argie mind wasn’t all there”

Mascherano played out a full 17 games for Liverpool before FC Barcelona decided to break the news to him and bring him kicking and screaming to the Camp Nou.

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3. Top thug Ashley Cole forgot he was married to Cheryl Cole and went home and shagged Cheryl’s bandmate, Kimberley Walsh. The case of mistaken identity only came to light on the couple’s wedding anniversary when Cheryl turned up on a Bahamas beach and demanded a divorce. Ashley Cole’s defence of, “I’m sorry darling, but all you white chicks look the same to me” didn’t go down well, but later a qualified sportologist confirmed that the champion marksman Cole was definitely not insane, or drunk. Ashley and Cheryl remarried a week later and, in a gey twist of fate, Walsh was the bridesmaid.

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2. Number two on our list, Rio Ferdinand, who, on the Saturday morning of the 14th of April, 2004, between 7.43 and 9.21am, forgot to act like a self-important, smug prick. All were stunned.

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1. Perhaps the greatest shock in sporting history, however, came when 1936 FA cup legend, Clifford Bastin, forgot he had died in 1991, and turned in a stellar performance for Arsenal against Manchester United in the 2005 FA Cup final, ultimately scoring twice and being awarded man of the match. When a news reporter questioned him post-match on this unlikely turn of events, he yelled “eek” and disappeared in a puff of ash never to be seen again.

 

© 2013-2014 Bryan A. J. Parry

Images from:
5 ibtimes.com
4 newsobserver.com
la-boca-de-la-cueva.blogspot.com
http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/legacy/chrischarles/rio595335.jpg
http://img1.ngoisao.vn/news/2011/12/6/44/henrybastinjpg1323142543.jpg

Article inspired by “Top 5 Forgetful Sports Stars”: http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/the-rundown/article/5807/

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