In January I was given 35 days to lose 30lbs and get back to my wedding weight of 14st 5lb. Why? Because of a photoshoot (don’t ask). Well, the photoshoot’s been cancelled, so I’m just back to the regular old game of trying to lose weight ‘cos, ya know, it’s healthy to not be fat and stuff.

See my previous posts on the subject here: https://doggerelizer.wordpress.com/category/fatty-parry/

I went to Spain for a week. Kinda maybe definitely sort of binged on kebabs, pizza, hamburgers, beer, wine, generic meat-based products. I look fatter than ever, so I’m guessing that I am. Too scared to check my weight, though. To drown my sorrows, I’ve been eating junk food pretty much non-stop for the last week.

Oh, man, what can I say? I feel absurd, like Alan Partridge on a talk show chatting about his Toblerone addiction while the other guest talks about their heroin addiction… What a human manqué! I can’t do the most basic of things: stop shovelling food into my gob! I feel wretched, and that spurs me to eat yet more crap. So to counteract this wretched feeling, which is the cause of my overeating, I’m trying to remember that I’m not a useless human being, and that in many ways I am very strong-willed indeed… just not when food enters the equation.

I’ve got a wedding to go to in July. And another in August. I just can’t be fat for those, I can’t. So, starting from tomorrow (I’m wiping cookie crumbs off my face as I type this), I am going to get a grip, I swear it:

• half an hour in my work gym every day, and 2 hours cardio+weights in my gym every day I’m off work.
• NO MORE CRAPPY FOOD!

Okay, deep breath, step on scales. I’m 16st 3.5lb (227.5lbs, 103kg). I’ll check back in on the 1st April, people.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry