Fatty Parry 7: Week 0

fattyparryedited1Not massively successful on the not-being-a-fat-b*stard-front, so I’m changing tack a bit.

My research suggests a healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs a week (one side affect of rapid weight loss is hair loss!). I am currently 15st 13lbs (223lbs). I want to get down to 13 stone (182lbs) which is what personal experience, and the doctor(!), tell me is a healthy weight for my height.

So, that’s around forty pounds to lose at a rate of two per week: twenty weeks to reach my target weight. Week by week, that breaks down like this:

(0) 27 July: 15st 13lbs (223lbs)
(1) 3 August: 15st 11lbs (221lbs)
(2) 10 August: 15st 9lbs (219lbs)
(3) 17 August: 15st 7lbs (217lbs)
(4) 24 August: 15st 5lbs (215lbs)
(5) 31 August: 15st 3lbs (213lbs)
(6) 7 September: 15st 1lb (211lbs)
(7) 14 September: 14st 13lbs (209lbs)
(8) 21 September: 14st 11lbs (207lbs)
(9) 28 September: 14st 9lbs (205lbs)
(10) 5 October: 14st 7lbs (203lbs)
(11) 12 October: 14st 5lbs (201lbs) **wedding day weight; first major goal**
(12) 19 October: 14st 3lbs (199lbs) **MY BIRTHDAY**
(13) 26 October: 14st 1lb (197lbs)
(14) 2 November: 13st 13lbs (195lbs)
(15) 9 November: 13st 11lbs (193lbs)
(16) 16 November: 13st 9lbs (191lbs)
(17) 23 November: 13st 7lbs (189lbs) **NHS BMI Chart and Calculator**
(18) 30 November: 13st 5lbs (187lbs)
(19) 7 December: 13st 3lbs (185lbs)
(20) 14 December: 13st 1lb (183lbs)

Obviously, your weight will fluctuate in any case, so updating you guys every week wouldn’t be productive. And let’s face it, flooding my blog with posts about how fat I am isn’t going to appeal. So I’ll keep to updating “Fatty Parry” every few weeks or so.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Time Flies

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So I was reading The Mail the other day.

Just wait a second! I hate The Mail. It is absolute trash. But someone had left it lying about on the tube, and I had already finished reading The Metro The Independent, The Guardian, The Times, and The Telegraph. So I needed something, anything to keep my eyes from awkwardly meeting another commuter’s and running the risk of actually having to speak to someone.

My eyes skipped over a page. I did a double take. What was that!? Former Prime Minister Tony Blair’s youngest son, 29, had got hitched.

What on earth? But Tony Blair’s son is a boy(!) Twenty-nine? I don’t understand.

I sat there for a few moments trying to calculate if it was even biologically possible for Tony Blair to have a 29 year old son.

Then the pieces slowly began to slot together in my mind. Tony Blair left office eight years ago! He was made PM 18 years ago! …Children.. grow up!

For the first time in my life, I felt a twinge of being old.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/01847/SNN1115NICK-_1847786a.jpg

Stop Ruining Game of Thrones!!! (Again) [SPOILERS!!!]

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It just keeps happening! Apparently it is impossible to avoid Game of Thrones spoilers. Can the media please stop being so blasé about this? Lesser things have driven a man to madness.

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© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Game of Thrones is Worse than Crack

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Game of Thrones Season 5 only finished a month ago. Yet I am in withdrawal. No hyperbole. My belly is in knots, I can’t sleep at night, I’m even more pale and clammy than usual. I want Season 6 so badly, it physically hurts; I may even be developing an ulcer.

And it’s still almost a whole year to wait until Season 6. How am I going to survive for a year!?

But a thought just squelched its way into my GoT-starved mind.

There are fifty episodes so far. There are fifty-two weeks in a year…

I’m talking synergy, people!!

*dances to couch humming the theme tune*

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://admin.bol.it/images/external/contenuti/gameofthrones5.jpg