Star Trek: Discovery #StarTrekDiscovery @StarTrekNetflix #StarTrekDay @startrekcbs

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I’m a big Star Trek fan. “Bitterly disappointed” by the way Star Trek: Enterprise was given short shrift in marketing and timeslots, and then summarily cancelled after four seasons, is an understatement of how I felt. And that was in 2005; I had barely lost my virginity back then, whereas now I am a married man with thick tufts of chest hair that drip with testosterone. Yes, twelve long years I’d been in purgatory waiting for even a sign of a new Star Trek series — until last year, when the announcement was made. But I couldn’t get my hopes up as it wouldn’t be the first big project to get canned. Yet here it is, at last. Star Trek: Discovery aired last night on Netflix. I can’t wait to watch episodes one and two tonight (right after I finish grooming my manly facial hair). But I’m nervous — will it be a Game of Thrones (=perfection), or a Stargate Universe (=all gear, no idea)?

A new Trek series was sorely needed to fill a particular gap. Not only is it a massive franchise with a hardcore fanbase, but the success of the recent films means there might be a new non-Trek audience primed and ready — although, in all fairness, the enthusiasm for the new films has kind of fizzled out now. But whatever.

The other reason why a new series is needed is that all previous Treks existed in the years BBG. That is, Before Battlestar: Galactica. That show was epoch defining and heralded the dawn of a new era (the 2004-2009 version, not the campy 70s thing). It moved us into a brave new world. Yes, yes, yes, it had all the secks, violence, and swearing (if “frack” counts) that now typify shows like Game of Thrones. But it was the format that set it apart. Gone were the 20+ episodes a season, countless dud eps which basically filled space, and the one-off episodes that didn’t advance the central plot of the series — if there even was a central plot. We were into a new world where quality triumphed over quantity; ten episodes of pure, relentless, story. One story arc for the whole show.

All previous Treks existed in this BBG world. This is outmoded and isn’t how TV works anymore. To make it worse, back then, the budgets were also poor, lending a kind of crummy homemade look to much Sci-Fi; I remember even as a twelve year old cringing at how the solid metal armour of the Jaffa in Stargate: SG1 would betray it’s Styrofoam prop nature and literally bend in a fight. Also, the quality of the acting has gone up: just try to remember TV before the Kiefer Sutherland thrillride 24; big film stars just did not do TV, it was a step down. How times change!

Visually, Star Trek: Discovery looks phenomenal. But we’ll just have to see if it is a matter of style over substance. As a Trek disciple, I hope to goodness the show is great and gets a good long run. Otherwise, by the time they come up with a new Star Trek series, I’ll probably have regrown my virginity, for I’ll be a shrivelled, middle-aged man.

© 2017 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e8/ST_DSC.svg

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Virgin Media @virginmedia #virginmedia @talktalk_uk

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Before I moved into my new house, I specifically checked that I could get Virgin Media. The green tick helped persuade me to sign the tenancy agreement.

So I bop along down to my local Virgin Media store. They informed me that even though there’s Virgin cabling on my road, and even though both of my next door neighbours and half of my street have Virgin Media, and even though my house had Virgin Media under the previous tenant, I would not be able to get Virgin Internet!

Their reason?

Apparently it would be too much hard work for them to install it because they are doing re-cabling works.

See my letter above for the full details. But I find this amazing. Half the country can’t get Virgin anyway. And then here’s me, literally begging to become a customer, and they turn me away. Even though they can and do provide Virgin Media services to my road!

© 2016 Bryan A. J. Parry

Stop Ruining Game of Thrones!!! (Again) [SPOILERS!!!]

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It just keeps happening! Apparently it is impossible to avoid Game of Thrones spoilers. Can the media please stop being so blasé about this? Lesser things have driven a man to madness.

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© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Game of Thrones is Worse than Crack

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Game of Thrones Season 5 only finished a month ago. Yet I am in withdrawal. No hyperbole. My belly is in knots, I can’t sleep at night, I’m even more pale and clammy than usual. I want Season 6 so badly, it physically hurts; I may even be developing an ulcer.

And it’s still almost a whole year to wait until Season 6. How am I going to survive for a year!?

But a thought just squelched its way into my GoT-starved mind.

There are fifty episodes so far. There are fifty-two weeks in a year…

I’m talking synergy, people!!

*dances to couch humming the theme tune*

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://admin.bol.it/images/external/contenuti/gameofthrones5.jpg

Game of Thrones Season 5 Thoughts [SPOILERS!!!]

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I’m a massive fan of the show Game of Thrones. Yet despite being a bookworm, I’m not ashamed to say I haven’t read the books. I just don’t have time or the staying-power for 1,770,000 words (and counting). But maybe it’s a good thing I haven’t read them; I’m coming to the series with fresh eyes.

Season 5 finished last night. Summing it up in a single word is easy: bleak. Depressing works quite well, too.

Whereas in previous seasons the characters were able to carve out small green spaces for themselves in a vast desert wilderness — be it the “normal” loving family moments in the Stark household, the nobles all getting behind the true “King in the North”, or the tender love affairs such as Tyrion and Shea’s — this season is just dark, dark, bleak, dark, depressing, gloomy, and dark.

It may be Season 5 of a probable 8, but I feel that only now are we well and truly into Act II: all the characters we’re rooting for (those who still have their heads, that is) are at their lowest ebb, it would appear. And winter is almost come.

More good guys are dead, loss of purpose and morale for others, rape of innocents, child sacrifice, favourite characters going blind or catching incurable diseases, and a general sense that everything is pretty much effed up.

But the most depressing thing about Game of Thrones Season 5 is: I have to wait a whole year for Season 6!!

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

featured image from http://admin.bol.it/images/external/contenuti/gameofthrones5.jpg

Stop Ruining Game of Thrones for Me!!!!! [SPOILERS…ish]

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I sent the following letter to the Metro newspaper (London, UK) on Thursday.

Thank you, Metro, for COMPLETELY RUINING the latest episode of Game of Thrones for me. The large headline and picture (21 May, p23) gave the plot away without me even having to read the article.

I work 15 hour shifts and Game of Thrones is my one crumb of pleasure. I haven’t been able to catch up yet this week due to my long hours.

So, once again, THANKS.

Bryan Parry

Click here for the photo they posted. The headline was “‘Disgusting’ rape scene is attacked by Thrones fans”. Doesn’t take an absolute genius to put two and two together.

Grrr.