Fatty Parry 7: Week 0

fattyparryedited1Not massively successful on the not-being-a-fat-b*stard-front, so I’m changing tack a bit.

My research suggests a healthy weight loss is 1-2lbs a week (one side affect of rapid weight loss is hair loss!). I am currently 15st 13lbs (223lbs). I want to get down to 13 stone (182lbs) which is what personal experience, and the doctor(!), tell me is a healthy weight for my height.

So, that’s around forty pounds to lose at a rate of two per week: twenty weeks to reach my target weight. Week by week, that breaks down like this:

(0) 27 July: 15st 13lbs (223lbs)
(1) 3 August: 15st 11lbs (221lbs)
(2) 10 August: 15st 9lbs (219lbs)
(3) 17 August: 15st 7lbs (217lbs)
(4) 24 August: 15st 5lbs (215lbs)
(5) 31 August: 15st 3lbs (213lbs)
(6) 7 September: 15st 1lb (211lbs)
(7) 14 September: 14st 13lbs (209lbs)
(8) 21 September: 14st 11lbs (207lbs)
(9) 28 September: 14st 9lbs (205lbs)
(10) 5 October: 14st 7lbs (203lbs)
(11) 12 October: 14st 5lbs (201lbs) **wedding day weight; first major goal**
(12) 19 October: 14st 3lbs (199lbs) **MY BIRTHDAY**
(13) 26 October: 14st 1lb (197lbs)
(14) 2 November: 13st 13lbs (195lbs)
(15) 9 November: 13st 11lbs (193lbs)
(16) 16 November: 13st 9lbs (191lbs)
(17) 23 November: 13st 7lbs (189lbs) **NHS BMI Chart and Calculator**
(18) 30 November: 13st 5lbs (187lbs)
(19) 7 December: 13st 3lbs (185lbs)
(20) 14 December: 13st 1lb (183lbs)

Obviously, your weight will fluctuate in any case, so updating you guys every week wouldn’t be productive. And let’s face it, flooding my blog with posts about how fat I am isn’t going to appeal. So I’ll keep to updating “Fatty Parry” every few weeks or so.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

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Fatty Parry 6 (Update)

fattyparryedited1

The goals:

  1. To get down to a healthy weight, 12st 7lb – 13st 7lb, by the end of the year.
  2. To get down to my wedding weight (Oct. 2013) of 14st 5lb by the Summer.
  3. To maintain the above weight indefinitely.
  4. To do the above in a healthy and balanced way. Therefore, to increase my overall levels of fitness and mental health.

It’s been over two months since my last Fatty Parry update. I was 16st 3.5lb (227.5lbs, 103kg). So how am I getting on?

Well, if Project Fatty Parry was a sport, it’d be golf: the lower your number (read: pounds), the better. Unfortunately, I seem to think it’s rugby: gain as many points as possible.

For you see, the sad fact is, I am now 16st 8.25lbs (232.25lbs, 105.3kg). Yeah… that’d be a gain of 4lb 12oz since March.

I feel rotten. But then again, what did I expect? No gym for the last two months + lots of junk food = weight gain. In a way, I’m happy I gained a mere pound a fortnight such has been the depth of my depraved and unhealthy lifestyle.

I seriously need to get a grip here. I’ll update you again around the beginning of June. Wish me willpower!

See my previous posts on the subject here: https://doggerelizer.wordpress.com/category/fatty-parry/

This post was written at the beginning of May but not published due to technical difficulties.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry 5: Mission Impossible (Day 35 of 35)

fattyparryedited1In January I was given 35 days to lose 30lbs and get back to my wedding weight of 14st 5lb. Why? Because of a photoshoot (don’t ask). Well, the photoshoot’s been cancelled, so I’m just back to the regular old game of trying to lose weight ‘cos, ya know, it’s healthy to not be fat and stuff.

See my previous posts on the subject here: https://doggerelizer.wordpress.com/category/fatty-parry/

I went to Spain for a week. Kinda maybe definitely sort of binged on kebabs, pizza, hamburgers, beer, wine, generic meat-based products. I look fatter than ever, so I’m guessing that I am. Too scared to check my weight, though. To drown my sorrows, I’ve been eating junk food pretty much non-stop for the last week.

Oh, man, what can I say? I feel absurd, like Alan Partridge on a talk show chatting about his Toblerone addiction while the other guest talks about their heroin addiction… What a human manqué! I can’t do the most basic of things: stop shovelling food into my gob! I feel wretched, and that spurs me to eat yet more crap. So to counteract this wretched feeling, which is the cause of my overeating, I’m trying to remember that I’m not a useless human being, and that in many ways I am very strong-willed indeed… just not when food enters the equation.

I’ve got a wedding to go to in July. And another in August. I just can’t be fat for those, I can’t. So, starting from tomorrow (I’m wiping cookie crumbs off my face as I type this), I am going to get a grip, I swear it:

  • half an hour in my work gym every day, and 2 hours cardio+weights in my gym every day I’m off work.
  • NO MORE CRAPPY FOOD!

Okay, deep breath, step on scales. I’m 16st 3.5lb (227.5lbs, 103kg). I’ll check back in on the 1st April, people.

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry 2: Mission Impossible (Day 6 of 30)

fattyparryedited1As I outlined in my last post, Fatty Parry, I have set myself certain fitness and weight loss goals. The first goal is to get back down to my wedding weight / shape: 14st 5lb (201lb, 92kg). When I made that post six days ago, I was 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg) — the fattest I’ve ever been. And there’s another problem — other than my rapidly clogging arteries, that is: I had a photoshoot (seriously, don’t ask!) in thirty days’ time.

Yeah, that’s thirty pounds in thirty days I’ve got to lose. I don’t know if such a weight loss is possible; it certainly can’t be done healthily. But I have got to give it a go.

This week I went to the gym for the first time in seven weeks. I’ve been five days out of the last seven. I mean business!

My weight on the 15th January: 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg)
My weight on the 20th January: 16st 6lb (230lb)

So, it’s heartening to know I’ve lost some weight, if only a mere sixteen ounces! (Oh God! A “pound” sounds reasonable, but when you say “sixteen ounces”, it sounds petty weak!) Unfortunately, I should have lost 6lb if I want to get to my target weight in time for this photoshoot. Yeah…

This week I’ve only done an hour of cardio per visit to the gym, albeit extremely hard and fast cycling. I’ve also not completely cut out sweets etc. So starting from tomorrow, (1) I will limit my rubbish food intake to three biscuits a day with my tea, (2) I will up my gym output to two hours: 75′ cardio and 45′ weights, and (3) I will also attend the work gym on my three long days (14 hour shifts!) for a total of 30′.

I’ll update this every week. See how I get on! And wish me luck willpower!

NEXT UPDATE: Wednesday 28th January (Day 14)
Target Weight Loss: around 10lb

© 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry

Fatty Parry

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On Christmas Day, conversation turned to my wedding last year. One of my uncles said that I had never looked better than on my wedding day. Another said I had looked like “an actual real model”. At that time, I had slimmed down to 14st 5lb (201lb, around 92kg). I was still overweight, but I was trimmer than I had been since I was around 20 years old.

Svelte Parry: My Previous "Model" Look, 4th Oct 2013

Svelte Parry: My Previous “Model” Look, 4th Oct 2013

But since the wedding, I have ballooned. Lack of regular gym work plus a slack diet have meant that I am now 16st 7lb (231lb, 105kg). That is quite literally the fattest I have ever been. The phrase, “All bought and paid for” springs to mind.

Well, I’m sick of this. I am comfortable with myself and not especially vain. So I’ve never been massively bothered. But I do need to take care of myself; I’m 30 now, and it’s only going to get harder to stay healthy. My lower legs joints are already half-f*cked, and I sweat when I walk — how am I going to handle a couple of kids and the shopping?

GOALS

  • will get down to a healthy weight. For my size and build, I know that is, at max, 13st 7lb, ideally around 12st 7lb – 13st.
  • will achieve this weight loss, combined with general increases in strength and stamina and general wellbeing, by going to the gym a minimum of three times per week, using  my workplace gym daily for 30′ intense sessions, and eating more healthily.
  • will achieve this weight loss by the end of the year; I want to go back down to 14st 5lb by mid-February (as I have a photoshoot; don’t ask!). Hopefully I can get down to 13st 7lb by June, but the key is to do it healthily; so if it takes till December or beyond for me to reach 13st 7lb, then so be it. So long as I am making constant progress.

In order to motivate myself, I will be updating this every month.

Oh yeah, and I’ll also be posting these pics up to remind me to GET A GRIP:

Super Sexy New Look Me: 4th January 2015, 16st 7lbs.

Super Sexy New Look Me: 12th January 2015, 16st 7lbs.

Ooh, Mama! Come get me while I'm young and hawt!

Ooh, Mama! Come get me while I’m young and hawt!

featured image from http://www.epiclol.com/cdn/pictures/2012/04/fat-cat-in-denial_1334642927_epiclolcom.jpg

© 2014 – 2015 Bryan A. J. Parry